Celebrity Constellation Cruise Review by Spudmechanic
- Sail Date: May 2015
- Destination: Mediterranean
Upon our embarkation, we had to ask several times for expedited boarding due to mobility issues. (This is our 5th cruise in 18 months. On every other one, we were immediately directed to the quick boarding line.) We were second in the "expedited check-in" with 4 people working the desk, yet had we stayed in the normal check-in line where about 30 people were waiting, we would have boarded sooner. Those working expedited check-in either ignored us or chose to coo at the baby in line before us. No one from the ship was there to help us with a wheel chair. Our boarding "passport" was empty, no deck plan - what was the point?
First order of business was to correct the dinner seating. Although we told the ship before departure that they got it wrong, it was not changed. When we asked the maitre d' about "anytime" dining, we got a sullen "no" repeatedly. He reluctantly changed us to the later seating. Not a good first impression.
Cabin: Clean; ample space (our large suitcase and 2 small ones fit under the bed); plenty of shelves/drawers; cabin attendant truly helpful and kind.
Dining Room: Crowded, noisy, shouted to be heard across a table of 8, had to do contortions to get to our table. Menu read well, but failed to perform. For the most part the food was either tasteless, over salted or over cooked, portions microscopic - e.g., lamb and duck tough, lobster like rubber, breakfast omelettes overcooked, water for tea not hot enough. When asked by a maitre d' how we were enjoying an evening meal, we told her our issues with no follow up on subsequent visits to the table. Quality of the food did not improve. We asked Guest Relations to help - see below.
Guest Relations: Staff confrontational, useless; did nothing to address our issue or assuage the problem; worst, most incompetent Guest Relations we have ever experienced. Nothing was ever done about the food. They offered to have the chef come to the table to discuss - we thought this would be confrontational and embarrass the chef, so we refused. They then offered to have the chef contact us by phone. It never happened. They were not able to answer other matters we inquired about, nor did they offer to get them.
Buffet Dining: Short hours, dirty tables; shortage of plates and cutlery; disinterested staff, some being sullen; hot food was cold; not confident that the blue, plastic water glasses were clean.
Shows: No better than a competent high school production, except for the aerial acrobats, and the late "adult-aged" show, which was fantastic.
Cruise Critic Gathering: Took place early on; waste of time, 15 minutes before dinner; we were asked to contact the staff about any problems so they could be addressed during the cruise, rather than their having to read about them on Cruise Critic. We did, to no avail - see above comment on Guest Relations.
Captain's Club: Not much.
Shore Info Sheets: Not given with the daily program at night or at the gangway. We didn't know about their existence until late in the cruise. Some info on them erroneous, e.g., opening times of the Cathedral in Valletta, Malta was wrong. We saved the visit for the end of the day - missed it due to incorrect information from the ship.
Ship: A barge with an apartment block on top; a bit tired; bland in color.
Ship's Shore Shuttle Bus: Won't take wheelchairs even if the person can walk on without help, inexcusable.
Disembarkation: Madness on the pier, crowded. Exit blocked by passengers waiting to board.
A charming captain telling amusing stories can not make up for all these shortcomings. Even a great itinerary will not lure us to Celebrity again.
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